i'm not sure why i decided to look him up today but i randomly google him every so often. pete fijalkowski, formerly of the britpop bands adorable and polak, who is the most underrated and under appreciated singer and lyricist. i suppose i've been in search for new music that makes me feel nostalgic. i re-discovered them in 2006. listening to both albums of each of his former bands brings me back to the days where i'd lock myself in my room just listening to music. hours and hours would roll by unnoticed. remember those days? i miss those days. those were days of youth and long gone. i am so busy these days, i barely have enough time to sleep.
pete has a myspace page offering 4 songs off of his secret acoustic solo album, unfortunately unreleased. one of which is a cover of new order's love vigilantes. one of my most favorite new order songs of all time. pete's version is alive yet slow and sexy. really sexy. while i love love bernard sumner's vocals, i am falling more and more in love with pete's. he also does an acoustic version of adorable's big hit, homeboy. it is quite dreamy. i am loving it just as much.
in the early 90's (after high school), i had an opportunity to see adorable play free at golden gate park in san francisco. however, i opted to spending the day with my boyfriend (at the time) which i've regretted for many, many years. fortunately, my brother went and brought back a recording of the show. i still have that cassette tape, somewhere. in the late 90's during the time i was living in san diego, pete's other band polak was scheduled to play in los angeles. so, i planned on going. much to my dismay, the show was canceled.
listening to both fake (despite having bombed when it was released in the mid-90's, is one of my fav albums of all time) and rubbernecking (according to pete, was never even reviewed or acknowledged) makes my heart ache for more. more music please, pete. pretty please. ♥
Showing posts with label deep thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deep thoughts. Show all posts
26 December 2010
07 December 2008
the wonders of coincidence
i recently saw this movie, lovers of the arctic circle, as recommended to me in my netflix. it's a spanish film made back in 1998. there are no known actors (that i know of). but it's a romantic drama. i find that i really enjoy romantic films. dramas or comedies, as long as it is romantic, i kinda dig it. chick flicks, i guess. they are temporary moments of romance, almost like real life. in the case of movies, it is an hour and a half of romantic moments.
back to the film, the story is about two kids named ana & otto. they meet in elementary school and instantly fall in love. it's the cutest thing. the movie is all about coincidences. and you see each of their perspectives of the same situation. one after the other. this is one of the components of the movie that seems really unique and cool. sort of along the lines of amelie and run, lola run. not only do the two have palindrome names but they also love the arctic circle. they talk about the "midnight sun" in finland. just so i don't ruin it, i will summarize the major coincidences. otto's father ends up marrying ana's mother and the two are step siblings but are secretly in love with each other. otto was named after a german pilot his grandfather smoked a cigarette with during the war. and the coincidence is that ana eventually meets this german pilot, who ends up being her step grandfather. craziness. the ending is a little tragic, which makes it even more romantic.
i had an interesting chat with a good friend on the train about coincidences. he says, they are more common than we know. and that if we open our eyes to them, we would discover them more often. certain coincidences are obviously not welcomed but random coincidences are kinda cool. for instance, i went dancing last night at leisure and i met this guy. i was dancing next to his british friends and could kinda feel him watching me. his friend bumped into me and that's how he started talking to me. i forget how we got on the topic of san diego, but turns out, he went to uc san diego too. and graduated in the same year as me. and lastly, we're the same age! he's a month and a half older than me. what a coincidence, right?
back to the film, the story is about two kids named ana & otto. they meet in elementary school and instantly fall in love. it's the cutest thing. the movie is all about coincidences. and you see each of their perspectives of the same situation. one after the other. this is one of the components of the movie that seems really unique and cool. sort of along the lines of amelie and run, lola run. not only do the two have palindrome names but they also love the arctic circle. they talk about the "midnight sun" in finland. just so i don't ruin it, i will summarize the major coincidences. otto's father ends up marrying ana's mother and the two are step siblings but are secretly in love with each other. otto was named after a german pilot his grandfather smoked a cigarette with during the war. and the coincidence is that ana eventually meets this german pilot, who ends up being her step grandfather. craziness. the ending is a little tragic, which makes it even more romantic.i had an interesting chat with a good friend on the train about coincidences. he says, they are more common than we know. and that if we open our eyes to them, we would discover them more often. certain coincidences are obviously not welcomed but random coincidences are kinda cool. for instance, i went dancing last night at leisure and i met this guy. i was dancing next to his british friends and could kinda feel him watching me. his friend bumped into me and that's how he started talking to me. i forget how we got on the topic of san diego, but turns out, he went to uc san diego too. and graduated in the same year as me. and lastly, we're the same age! he's a month and a half older than me. what a coincidence, right?
28 July 2008
thoughts & dreams
as i hype myself up for my upcoming trip to chicago, there have been random thoughts going on in my head. as a result, have been producing some bizarro dreams.
a couple of weeks ago, i was contacted by an old friend i met through my ex from san diego. at first, it was a little strange since i didn't really like any of his female friends. but i found a kindred spirit in her. when she called for him, i found myself chatting it up with her more and more. this was nearly 10 years ago. when he and i broke up in 2001, her friendship meant a great deal to me. it was as if we'd been friends all along sans him.
she moved to chicago for medical school after 2001. chicago is an endearing city to me because i almost made it my home in 1999. my ex got into northwestern for medical school and although he never asked me to move for him, he made inferences to it. for instance, he said med students who have significant others with them do better in medical school. so i started to look for jobs in the area. we made a trip there to find housing. and ended up signing a lease with a deposit made on a quaint 2-bedroom little house by the school. but when it came closer to our move date, he got into the med school at ucsd, which was where we were. he asked me, where do you want to go? since i had a job in san diego and had a place, i told him i wanted to stay. and after his first year at ucsd, he blamed me for having such a difficult time there. i blame him for being such a stupid ass.
anyway, i moved back to the bay area in early 2001. and our friend ended up in chicago after all these years. i lost touch with her when i was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2003. i lost touch with a lot of people. recently, she instant messaged me out of the blue. it was perfect timing as i am planning a trip to chicago. sunday night, we found time to catch up over the phone. it was really nice hearing her voice again. she told me that she had contact with my ex about 6 months ago. that he was doing a fellowship at the children's hospital there. and they met up for coffee. weird that he ended up there after all these years. it turns out that he has not changed, at all. but this wasn't news to me.
lately though, i've had these disturbing dreams of getting back together with him. this has happened twice now within this past week. and i don't know why. well, it's from recently being contacted and told that about him being in chicago. really strange as i have nothing but repulsed feelings towards him. second thought, it might be interesting to run into him after all this time.
a couple of weeks ago, i was contacted by an old friend i met through my ex from san diego. at first, it was a little strange since i didn't really like any of his female friends. but i found a kindred spirit in her. when she called for him, i found myself chatting it up with her more and more. this was nearly 10 years ago. when he and i broke up in 2001, her friendship meant a great deal to me. it was as if we'd been friends all along sans him.
she moved to chicago for medical school after 2001. chicago is an endearing city to me because i almost made it my home in 1999. my ex got into northwestern for medical school and although he never asked me to move for him, he made inferences to it. for instance, he said med students who have significant others with them do better in medical school. so i started to look for jobs in the area. we made a trip there to find housing. and ended up signing a lease with a deposit made on a quaint 2-bedroom little house by the school. but when it came closer to our move date, he got into the med school at ucsd, which was where we were. he asked me, where do you want to go? since i had a job in san diego and had a place, i told him i wanted to stay. and after his first year at ucsd, he blamed me for having such a difficult time there. i blame him for being such a stupid ass.
anyway, i moved back to the bay area in early 2001. and our friend ended up in chicago after all these years. i lost touch with her when i was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2003. i lost touch with a lot of people. recently, she instant messaged me out of the blue. it was perfect timing as i am planning a trip to chicago. sunday night, we found time to catch up over the phone. it was really nice hearing her voice again. she told me that she had contact with my ex about 6 months ago. that he was doing a fellowship at the children's hospital there. and they met up for coffee. weird that he ended up there after all these years. it turns out that he has not changed, at all. but this wasn't news to me.
lately though, i've had these disturbing dreams of getting back together with him. this has happened twice now within this past week. and i don't know why. well, it's from recently being contacted and told that about him being in chicago. really strange as i have nothing but repulsed feelings towards him. second thought, it might be interesting to run into him after all this time.
24 June 2008
ian curtis & control
i finally saw control on netflix. aside from the poor yet typical male behavior, i enjoyed it on a deeper level than i imagined. it's hard to believe that ian curtis was only 23 when he killed himself.
for those who don't know, ian curtis was the singer of the band, joy division which spawned new order, after curtis's death with the addition of gillian gilbert. new order is my most favorite band ever. yet, i was never really a joy division fan. generally, i think joy division fans aren't really new order fans either. the music between the two bands are very different.
back to the film. it plays like a documentary. i guess that makes it a mockumentary? the title is very fitting to his life. it was all about control. and after reading an interview with his widow, debbie curtis, it reminded me of how ted treated me. like ted, ian wanted to control her. from music to books and whatever else she didn't mention. it's controlling in the subtlest way but worse because you don't know it. i have yet to read his biography by her but i plan to. i also want to read the book that tony wilson's ex-wife wrote in collaboration (maybe just referenced) with the other woman, annik honoré. it sounds like you get both stories with those two books.
despite being attracted to such musical genius, (which i admit is very appealing) how do you go further and steal someone else's husband/wife? i know this happens all the time but i just don't get it. especially someone with a new baby. don't even get me started with ian curtis as a man. he really sucked. seeing things like this really make marriage so unappealing to me. ugh, sorry, this is beside the point.
the point is the music. the movie made me want to listen to joy division. and after doing so, i found the darkness of the music is really very beautiful.
for those who don't know, ian curtis was the singer of the band, joy division which spawned new order, after curtis's death with the addition of gillian gilbert. new order is my most favorite band ever. yet, i was never really a joy division fan. generally, i think joy division fans aren't really new order fans either. the music between the two bands are very different.
back to the film. it plays like a documentary. i guess that makes it a mockumentary? the title is very fitting to his life. it was all about control. and after reading an interview with his widow, debbie curtis, it reminded me of how ted treated me. like ted, ian wanted to control her. from music to books and whatever else she didn't mention. it's controlling in the subtlest way but worse because you don't know it. i have yet to read his biography by her but i plan to. i also want to read the book that tony wilson's ex-wife wrote in collaboration (maybe just referenced) with the other woman, annik honoré. it sounds like you get both stories with those two books.
despite being attracted to such musical genius, (which i admit is very appealing) how do you go further and steal someone else's husband/wife? i know this happens all the time but i just don't get it. especially someone with a new baby. don't even get me started with ian curtis as a man. he really sucked. seeing things like this really make marriage so unappealing to me. ugh, sorry, this is beside the point.
the point is the music. the movie made me want to listen to joy division. and after doing so, i found the darkness of the music is really very beautiful.
06 February 2007
superbowl sunday
i didn't do much this past superbowl sunday. i spent the day with my sister shopping. it was the best day to go to costco after the last-minute superbowl party stock up, which was sometime after 1p because it wasn't the zoo it usually is on the weekend.
when i woke up that morning, i got to thinking... wow, it's been a whole year since ted moved out. it's strange to think about him sometimes. but the negative always outweighs any positive attributes he might still have. i doubt that will ever change since that's the case with all my former boyfriends. it's a bit sad to think about because at one point or another, i thought the world of these guys.
thanks to my lovely muffin, i got out of helping him move last year. i told her, i need to be busy and not around for it. i knew he would assume that i was available to help him. i hate that jackass. can you believe he had the nerve to ask me? see? yet another negative. so thankfully, i was invited to a superbowl party (which is quite funny because i hate american football) and not only that but i found out later that some guy was checking me out at that party. even though this guy may not have been my type, it's flattering and a great ego boost when you are feeling your lowest. oh, life.
when i woke up that morning, i got to thinking... wow, it's been a whole year since ted moved out. it's strange to think about him sometimes. but the negative always outweighs any positive attributes he might still have. i doubt that will ever change since that's the case with all my former boyfriends. it's a bit sad to think about because at one point or another, i thought the world of these guys.
thanks to my lovely muffin, i got out of helping him move last year. i told her, i need to be busy and not around for it. i knew he would assume that i was available to help him. i hate that jackass. can you believe he had the nerve to ask me? see? yet another negative. so thankfully, i was invited to a superbowl party (which is quite funny because i hate american football) and not only that but i found out later that some guy was checking me out at that party. even though this guy may not have been my type, it's flattering and a great ego boost when you are feeling your lowest. oh, life.
23 April 2006
come dancing...
i called my sister on friday to see if she wanted to come dancing with me in the city. she accepted and we caught up with each other. it was really nice. i realize how much i need her. she's my little sister after all. we were so close at one point, it's really sad that we started to grow apart...
tonight, we went to the fragrance fair at nordstrom. she hadn't seen our cousin debbie in a while so that was a nice mini reunion as well. we had a good time shopping.
yesterday, i started my low-iodine diet. for those who know me, i am having my annual body scan on may 1st for my thyroid cancer. i didn't have to really do the diet last year but i did it for the first year. the thing with being on a diet is, when you are restricted to certain foods, that's all you seem to crave. i am not allowed dairy products on my diet amongst many other things. but i so want some brie and cheddar. i've been eating so much fruit, i'm not sure it's good to have so much. luckily, i can have wheat bread (no white) of which i really enjoy. i've been eating wheat toast with egg whites. sounds yummy, doesn't it? i have 7 more days on this damn diet. good thing, alcohol is allowed. i'm still buzzing from the pinot grigio tonight. heehee.
so i keep going back and forth with the ex thing. i miss him but i don't and not in a pathetic way if at all. i'm leaning towards not. but my heart still flutters a little when i see a picture of him or when i hear his voice on the phone. it's funny, he told me once that my taste in music was so rare in a girl. i seem to be finding the same thing being rare in men i meet, which seems to be one of my top ten if not my top non-negotiable trait. oh well, moving on...
which transitions to the next topic very well. usually, i'm an optimist. and even an incurable romantic, if i do say so myself. but after going to happy hour with a work colleague and discussing life over a few drinks, he brought up a very interesting point. what exactly is love? as a romantic, it's something of passion and is unconditional. when you know you can't live without someone. that's love. but as i've experienced, you can pretty much live without anyone and everyone, but yourself. love seems to be a very misconceived notion. i think many of us want to believe that you can just live on love. but that's not so. you really have to work at it. if you don't, you don't have love. you get hate. and some other unnecessary evil emotions. i've always thought that if i really loved someone, we could always work things out. but it just doesn't work that way. it's a two way street. if one of you don't want to work things out, the relationship is doomed and love is non-existent. rafal (my work colleague) makes a very interesting argument. he says...
i know how it feels to like someone
i know how it feels to really really like someone
i even know how it feels to hate someone
but, how does it feel to love somone?
it's something that people like shakespeare created in his stories and poems.
despite being an eternal optimist, i couldn't help but agree with him. maybe one hopes that they know what it is to love someone. maybe it's something that slaps you in the face. or, it might be something that creeps up on you. i know that i feel love and i don't know if i can explain it. i just know i feel it. well, i hope that i do because i don't think i could really be myself, without feeling love for my life and my surroundings in which i am more than thankful for.
one last thing, to my partner in crime... happy belated (yesterday) 31st birthday betty!! miss you tons!
tonight, we went to the fragrance fair at nordstrom. she hadn't seen our cousin debbie in a while so that was a nice mini reunion as well. we had a good time shopping.
yesterday, i started my low-iodine diet. for those who know me, i am having my annual body scan on may 1st for my thyroid cancer. i didn't have to really do the diet last year but i did it for the first year. the thing with being on a diet is, when you are restricted to certain foods, that's all you seem to crave. i am not allowed dairy products on my diet amongst many other things. but i so want some brie and cheddar. i've been eating so much fruit, i'm not sure it's good to have so much. luckily, i can have wheat bread (no white) of which i really enjoy. i've been eating wheat toast with egg whites. sounds yummy, doesn't it? i have 7 more days on this damn diet. good thing, alcohol is allowed. i'm still buzzing from the pinot grigio tonight. heehee.
so i keep going back and forth with the ex thing. i miss him but i don't and not in a pathetic way if at all. i'm leaning towards not. but my heart still flutters a little when i see a picture of him or when i hear his voice on the phone. it's funny, he told me once that my taste in music was so rare in a girl. i seem to be finding the same thing being rare in men i meet, which seems to be one of my top ten if not my top non-negotiable trait. oh well, moving on...
which transitions to the next topic very well. usually, i'm an optimist. and even an incurable romantic, if i do say so myself. but after going to happy hour with a work colleague and discussing life over a few drinks, he brought up a very interesting point. what exactly is love? as a romantic, it's something of passion and is unconditional. when you know you can't live without someone. that's love. but as i've experienced, you can pretty much live without anyone and everyone, but yourself. love seems to be a very misconceived notion. i think many of us want to believe that you can just live on love. but that's not so. you really have to work at it. if you don't, you don't have love. you get hate. and some other unnecessary evil emotions. i've always thought that if i really loved someone, we could always work things out. but it just doesn't work that way. it's a two way street. if one of you don't want to work things out, the relationship is doomed and love is non-existent. rafal (my work colleague) makes a very interesting argument. he says...
i know how it feels to like someone
i know how it feels to really really like someone
i even know how it feels to hate someone
but, how does it feel to love somone?
it's something that people like shakespeare created in his stories and poems.
despite being an eternal optimist, i couldn't help but agree with him. maybe one hopes that they know what it is to love someone. maybe it's something that slaps you in the face. or, it might be something that creeps up on you. i know that i feel love and i don't know if i can explain it. i just know i feel it. well, i hope that i do because i don't think i could really be myself, without feeling love for my life and my surroundings in which i am more than thankful for.
one last thing, to my partner in crime... happy belated (yesterday) 31st birthday betty!! miss you tons!
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