i called my sister on friday to see if she wanted to come dancing with me in the city. she accepted and we caught up with each other. it was really nice. i realize how much i need her. she's my little sister after all. we were so close at one point, it's really sad that we started to grow apart...
tonight, we went to the fragrance fair at nordstrom. she hadn't seen our cousin debbie in a while so that was a nice mini reunion as well. we had a good time shopping.
yesterday, i started my low-iodine diet. for those who know me, i am having my annual body scan on may 1st for my thyroid cancer. i didn't have to really do the diet last year but i did it for the first year. the thing with being on a diet is, when you are restricted to certain foods, that's all you seem to crave. i am not allowed dairy products on my diet amongst many other things. but i so want some brie and cheddar. i've been eating so much fruit, i'm not sure it's good to have so much. luckily, i can have wheat bread (no white) of which i really enjoy. i've been eating wheat toast with egg whites. sounds yummy, doesn't it? i have 7 more days on this damn diet. good thing, alcohol is allowed. i'm still buzzing from the pinot grigio tonight. heehee.
so i keep going back and forth with the ex thing. i miss him but i don't and not in a pathetic way if at all. i'm leaning towards not. but my heart still flutters a little when i see a picture of him or when i hear his voice on the phone. it's funny, he told me once that my taste in music was so rare in a girl. i seem to be finding the same thing being rare in men i meet, which seems to be one of my top ten if not my top non-negotiable trait. oh well, moving on...
which transitions to the next topic very well. usually, i'm an optimist. and even an incurable romantic, if i do say so myself. but after going to happy hour with a work colleague and discussing life over a few drinks, he brought up a very interesting point. what exactly is love? as a romantic, it's something of passion and is unconditional. when you know you can't live without someone. that's love. but as i've experienced, you can pretty much live without anyone and everyone, but yourself. love seems to be a very misconceived notion. i think many of us want to believe that you can just live on love. but that's not so. you really have to work at it. if you don't, you don't have love. you get hate. and some other unnecessary evil emotions. i've always thought that if i really loved someone, we could always work things out. but it just doesn't work that way. it's a two way street. if one of you don't want to work things out, the relationship is doomed and love is non-existent. rafal (my work colleague) makes a very interesting argument. he says...
i know how it feels to like someone
i know how it feels to really really like someone
i even know how it feels to hate someone
but, how does it feel to love somone?
it's something that people like shakespeare created in his stories and poems.
despite being an eternal optimist, i couldn't help but agree with him. maybe one hopes that they know what it is to love someone. maybe it's something that slaps you in the face. or, it might be something that creeps up on you. i know that i feel love and i don't know if i can explain it. i just know i feel it. well, i hope that i do because i don't think i could really be myself, without feeling love for my life and my surroundings in which i am more than thankful for.
one last thing, to my partner in crime... happy belated (yesterday) 31st birthday betty!! miss you tons!
