tube free!

last thursday, i had my last appointment with my ent doctor, dr. falsafi. he's been treating me since late last year and we actually said our goodbyes that afternoon. i saw him for the first time last december. despite having numerous specialists treating me, it's still a little sad to see them go. with all of my health issues, i feel extremely fortunate to have received such great care from most of them.

i had a total of 3 surgeries (done by the good doctor) all within 2007. now that being in his care is over, it's kinda bittersweet. i'm sad i won't see him anymore but i'm also happy that my problems have been resolved. for the most part anyway. i mean, seriously, i breathe so much better. i can't believe i didn't for most of my life. i don't miss the tube in my eye at all. hopefully, this is also goodbye to any pink eye recurrences.

thank you dr. falsafi!

tube update

last thursday, i had an appointment with my doctor for the removal of my tube. while he probed the tube in my nose and stuck some forceps in there, he decided to leave the tube in for another three months. he mentioned that he thought i was healing nicely but just wanted to leave the tube for a bit longer. i figure, it's better than having it put in a 4th time. and since i don't feel it, it's no biggie.

otherwise, i am feeling quite well and getting the most out of these glasses. alas, i will have to postpone the daily wear of eye make up until the winter. oh well.

update #2 on recovery #2

funny story at the hospital the day of my surgery (over 4 thursdays ago)... i'm at o'connor which was where i had my thyroidectomy done 4 years ago (almost to the date!) and this nurse, mimi helped me prep up. i couldn't help but notice how familiar she seemed. especially as she asked me all of the same questions i'd been asked before. in the middle of it, she stopped and said to me, have i helped you before linda? i tell her that i was just thinking the same thing! it's really nice to be remembered, isn't it?

as far as my current recovery goes, i'm healing well. aside from coughing up this tiny plastic thing which apparently is from the gel form they stuck in my nose to hold something in place. it also seemed to be the cause for the sore throat/ tonsilitis symptoms because after it was out of my system, i was fine. well, except for the congestion. but my doctor pulled the gel form out along with some really gross stuff. my nasal cavity actually felt empty after that. it was amazing. a bit traumatic but absolutely necessary. i can breathe deeply again!

one last thing though. the tube in my eye comes out this coming thursday. i don't really feel it so it's not a big deal. i just hope it doesn't hurt too much!

happy labor day weekend everyone!

update on my recovery #2

hi all,

thanks for all the messages and concern. i'm recovering well, much better than the last surgery. on friday, as lisa is working from home next to me, she says... i can't believe you had surgery yesterday, it feels like we're just hanging out. after the last surgery, when she came to pick me up, she cried at the sight of me. she said i looked really messed up. this time, it was different. i didn't look swollen, and didn't need help getting into the house. i was up and about on friday. the only thing i'm really having problems with, are my tonsils. they are so swollen that if i don't keep my tonsils down my throat, i choke a little bit. my throat is so sore right now. and it's hard to take any solids down.

otherwise, my nose is fine. my face is fine. as long as my tonsils get better, i'll be a-ok. i'm hoping to get back to the office earlier than the 20th.

xoxo

t minus 7 hours and counting...

i have surgery today, in the morning. hopefully, this will be the last one for a long time. i'm having an endoscopic dacryocystorhinostomy done. dcr for short. i'm hoping all goes well as i have a bit of a cough. this should fix my teary left eye, for the most part anyway. and if i'm lucky, i'll leave the hospital with an eye patch. i kinda dig the pirate look. ;)

see you soon! ♥

ps, happy birthday lou! (on the 10th). posts on my mini break will have to wait until later!

a few things

i'm finally starting to breathe through my nose again. it's not bleeding so much but i'm still spitting up some blood. and there's something wrong with my upper lip. the skin is so dry and doesn't seem to move comfortably. when i move anything between my upper lip and my nose, it hurts as well. i think my nose has to be completely healed before i can start feeling normal there. i hope my upper lip goes back to normal soon. the skin is so dry, tight and peeling. i've resorted to using carmex on it because nothing else works and there doesn't seem to be a jar of vasoline handy in this house.

i'm still sleeping late. i'm on a 10th wind or so. i woke up quite early this morning. 6:30a to be exact to go to nordstrom by 7:30a with my best friend kelly. who surprised me yesterday morning by telling me her mother was showing up with a something, and that something was kelly and emily! and armed with a lovely arrangement of home grown orchids (will post a pic of them soon). speaking of flowers, i've received a total 4 bouquets this past week. not that i need flowers to make me feel loved but it was just so unexpected. it made me think of all the special deliveries & visits i got in the hospital when i had my thyroidectomy in 2003. that really made me feel special and helped me, mentally, with my recovery.

back to now. today, i accomplished very much. i hemmed a couple of slacks that i've had for months. i also did some ironing. and earlier, i got my hair cut, quite short. it's shoulder length when it's wet so when it's dry, it's a bit shorter. i'll try to post a pic as soon as my face starts behaving as it should. and after i've gotten back to the gym. ugh, hopefully next week i can get back to my classes. we'll see. ok, sleep now. i need to cut out these late nights by tomorrow (ugh, i mean today)! i'm going back to work on monday.

update on my recovery

yesterday, i left the house for the first time since my surgery on friday. it was because i had my follow-up at 1:30p. so, i set my alarm for 10a and it goes off but i'm not used to waking up before noon yet so i reset it for noon. i figure, that'll give me plenty of time. it goes off at noon. and i think, okay, get up. but i don't get up, do i? i just stay in bed. next thing i know, it's 1p. that's when i'd planned on leaving! first, i'm sitting in there in denial for a bit, then i haul ass and get myself ready. it's 5 after and i can't find my insurance card anywhere! did lisa give it back to me after my surgery?? i don't know! forget it, it's time to go NOW!

i get into my car and it's 15 after. ugh. 15 minutes to get to los gatos? its a bit of a ways, there's no way i'm getting there on time. then i look at my gas gage and um, i need to get gas! after getting gas, it's about 25 after, there's no way i'm getting to los gatos in 5 minutes. as long as i'm not more than 15 minutes late, i'm ok. i finally get into the parking garage and i score with this couple leaving and parked on the first floor... but what the hell is he doing? he's backing out to the left, all i need to do is go straight into his space and he turns right into me. there's not much space i can back into. but rather than let me just park, the jerk makes me back up. all the way. i was so annoyed.

i get up to the 3rd floor and into the doctor's office and the receptionist is so nice. i told her, my appointment was at 1:30p. she said it was okay. and i get my splints out. the good dr showed it to me and ugh, they are these plastic things that hold everything in place. kinda like the plastic stuff they put in collars to hold them. it seemed pretty big too. at least an inch across. with some anesthesia that didn't quite help, he cut some stitches and pulled those suckers out of my very sensitive nose. he says, there was quite a bit of obstruction in your nose. ugh. then he brings this suction thing and it gets stuck or something in my left side. that's the side that was the most obstructed and most sensitive. it was so painful, i teared a little bit. i know, i'm a cry baby. so what?

now, i can breathe a little through my nose. i keep forgetting to though. alas, monday is coming up too soon. *deep breath through my nose*

checking in...

just checking in... let's see, i'm severely congested, often times coughing up blood. and with a mustache of sterile dressing which needless to say, disables me from speaking clearly. i have splints in my nose that will be removed this coming week. if anything, those are the only things that hurt me, well, all the time. and breathing through my mouth while sleeping or doing anything (eating, drinking, talking) is never fun.

i'm not in a whole lot of pain, anymore. i've only had to take one vicodin tablet since i got home. as my sister says, it's good to save the "good stuff." she's funny, isn't she? when i take vicodin, it completely knocks me out. the bleeding has slowed down but hasn't stopped yet. my upper teeth hurt a bit. and to top things off, i look like ms. piggy. ugh.

i'll check back in later...

impending surgery

to my dear faithful readers (all 3 of you out there):

i'm sorry i've been out of touch lately. as you probably know, much has happened but has yet to be posted. for the past two weeks or more, i have not been sleeping well. as in getting less than 5 hours of sleep every night opposed to my usual 6-7 hours. i imagine i am subconsciously and thoroughly anxious about my septoturbinoplasty scheduled for tomorrow. well, now less than 12 hours away. and since i usually post at the office, i've been quite busy getting ready for my leave and trying to take care of everything to do with the current admissions cycle.

i don't think i am particularly stressed out about the surgery itself but the recovery part. the potential risks for infection (which comes with all surgeries) is making me quite worrisome, not to mention the pain i will experience. despite having gone through my thyroidectomy and having had much worse levels of pain (getting my neck cut open and having an organ removed), that was nearly 4 years ago and memories of the pain have been successfully suppressed.

i know the surgery is fairly routine but it's not everyday that one has surgery, right? i have great confidence in my ent doctor so i'm not as worried about the actual procedure. and, for those who participated in my pop (pre-op potluck) party and/or sent me well wishes, i just wanted to thank you. it's tremendously reassuring to know that people care. i feel very lucky to have such great friends & family. you all rock. i love you all, seriously. ♥

ugh, okay, time to sleep now. good nite.

upcoming surgeries, ugh

i saw my ent doctor this morning. he's scheduled me for a septoplasty and a turbinoplasty (aka septoturbinoplasty) in march. and a month after that, i need to schedule an endoscopic dcr which is the initial reason for seeing him. i just have to check in with my endocrinologist on my body scan to make sure when it is okay to have the dcr done. hopefully i will be as good as new once i recover from everything.

monday events

*** yeah, yeah, i'm back dating again***

on monday, i had two events. . .

the first one started in the morning. it was my second opinion for my blocked tear duct condition. i met with an otolaryngologist (ear-nose-throat physician) to get an endoscopic dcr done on me. the initial procedure was the external dcr which leaves an unnoticeable scar on the side of my nose. i already have a few unnoticeable scars in my upper body. i'd really rather not have one in the middle of my face. would you? especially if there is a similar procedure that doesn't leave a scar.

anyway, so the ent doctor gave me his typical exam. he checked my ears (fine), my throat (fine), but my nose was a problem. apparently, i have a deviated septum in my left nasal cavity. and it's a little deviated in the right cavity as well. he sprayed my nose with the most distasteful anesthetic (i suppose they are all distasteful), then stuck this probe up my nose so he can take a look. i know, gross huh? hahah. so, he started with the right side, and it went up pretty far. so far that it made me tear a bit and without the help of my blocked tear duct, er, on my left side. when he tried the left cavity, apparently, it's so deviated that the probe couldn't move. ugh.

my doctor had asked me if any of the two opthalmologists that i'd seen told me what or why was the cause of my blocked tear duct. i couldn't really remember because, well, they didn't really say. i remember something along the lines of dirt. but it would have been years of dirt build up, hence, most of the patients with this condition are very elderly. then, he asked me about allergies. when did i get them. year round, i told him. and he asked me if i snore, um, i used to but i think i've got it kinda under control. i'm mostly sleeping alone anyway so who cares? i did not just admit to the public that i snore, did i? uh... back to the doctor, he said that this deviated septum could be the cause of one and all. that if we fix it, it could take care of everything, including the blocked tear duct! it would be like a one-stop shop, kinda.

the causes of a deviated septum are as follows:

getting punched/hit in the face;
trauma of some sort;
and being born that way, the septum never developed correctly, which turns out to be the case for me.

before scheduling the surgery, he wanted me to go on flonase and this other nasal spray for a month. he mentioned that might solve it. anything to avoid surgery. so far, it's helped with my breathing but my eye is still very teary. the air way in my left nasal cavity is barely breathable. it's strange that i never stopped to notice. isn't it? i suppose i was overcompensating with my right side. strange. so, i go back in a month to see him.

my second event was dinner with my work colleague. the so-called date, which proved not to be a date so much anyway. as it felt totally and utterly platonic. maybe some of you men can clue me in because i just can't seem to figure him out. and perhaps there's nothing to try to figure out. i guess that would be best, just not to think more about it than i have to.

we agreed to meet downstairs at around 6-6:30p. he showed up at my office at about 6p almost on the dot. maybe he was just waiting around, who knows? so we leave together and he drives us to the restaurant. here's some background info... basically, i told him about my brother's restaurant in downtown mt. view. he'd mentioned he liked this other place that was similar. so i said to him, hey, i think you might like it here. he said mt. view was a bit of a ways from home (sf) but that he had friends he hadn't seen in mt. view. the next day or so, slyly, i emailed him the web address and say, hey, if they can't go, i'll go. just let me know! and he did. he said it would be fun to go with me. heehee. there was some tiny bit of flirting going on in between the emails. but it ended with, sure, it would be fun to have dinner with you again. weeks passed and nothing else. finally, about two weeks ago, we were alone in the office after hours and having our somewhat usual-after-hours chat. as i was about to leave, he asked if/when we were going to have dinner? i said i would get back to him. that's the gist of the background.

back to 6p... this is when we started talking. and it continued to when we were at dinner. we talked about work, friends, life, family, love, events, mostly everything. he said that he was glad i was in the office. he said that a few times actually. he knew that i'd applied to a different position, (not sure i remember telling him this myself) but even though he knew i could run an office somewhere else, it might be nice that i stay a bit longer. it was endearing of him to say. isn't it? very sweet really. i don't quite know how i brought up ted, (i think i was saying how i never keep in touch with my exes), but i mentioned ted. and he asks me, was he the one you brought to last year's department dinner? i'm thinking, shoot, i don't remember you being there! i did in fact bring ted to last year's dinner. it's quite amazing that he remembers. that he might have noticed me back then. we ate and talked until nearly 10p. when he dropped me off at my car, we both said, that was fun... uh, bye. and that was it.

despite the lack of obvious interest the night before, he walked by my office about 10x on tuesday. going to the storage room, to drop something off in the students' mail box, etc. he didn't really say anything as he repeatedly walked by. just a smile here and there. i never see him that many times in a day without purposely trying to. this whole thing is really odd. after talking to lisa about it, she thinks he's got these new feelings for me. that apparently, he has no idea what to do with. not sure what to do with that. i suppose there's really nothing to do with it. so nothing, it is!

update on my blocked tear duct

surgery. apparently, since the 2 intubations didn't work, the only thing left is to cut open the side of my nose, unblock the blockage, put some plates to keep it unblocked and close it back up. oh, and hope that it doesn't get infected so the scar is minimal. ugh.

i'm in the process of getting a second opinion. but i'm scared...

eye probing - graphic details

yesterday, i had my eye intubation surgery. the same one i had done last year. i didn't go into detail previously but perhaps i should have. i suppose i didn't think i'd have to go through it again so i didn't feel the need but in case you get queasy with details, i recommend you stop reading now...

they actually called me to come in earlier than scheduled since they had a cancellation. so i got there an hour earlier. i figured, i just want to get it over with. i didn't really think of it as surgery since it happens at the eye clinic as opposed to a hospital and i'm in and out in about an hour. i guess it's more like an out-patient surgery.

so, i get there and they are preparing me for the procedure. the nurse puts in drops of anesthesia in my left eye. it's already taking it's effect by the time the doctor comes in. then i lay down on the operating table. he sticks this tools into my left nostril (which apparently keeps it open to work in) and stuffs in this huge blob of cotton that's soaked in some sort of anesthesic fluid which goes down my throat a bit. it's really gross. and here is the part i didn't remember from last year, he gives me two injections in my eye!!! the nurse puts her hand on my arm, either to comfort herself or me, i wasn't quite sure which. now, everything is ready and he just has to put the tube through both tear ducts and tie them together. the tube goes into my lower tear duct just fine. it's really smooth. i can feel something being pulled through my eye & nose but it wasn't bad at all. however, the upper tear duct didn't turn out quite so simple. the tube got stuck somewhere. and he's pushing and shoving this tube through my eye. and he can't figure out why it's stuck. but all the pushing and shoving gives way and it goes through but then, he can't find the tube in my nose. after fiddling around with a q-tip in my nose, he sees the tube and ties it up. the last time, it was too tight so he's taking extra time to make sure the tension of the tube is just right. finally, i'm done and good to go. until my post-op follow up anyway.

the nurse hands me some dressing for my eye. i should of course, expect bleeding in my eye and nose. sure, people get bloody noses all the time, but i very much doubt it's as common for people to bleed through their eyes. it's really quite disturbing to see bloody tears. and if you haven't experienced it, i don't recommend it.

i also got some antibiotic drops for my eye. he says to put a lot of drops in today since my eye went through a lot of trauma. ugh. trauma in my eye. yikes.

i got home and couldn't do much despite the excitement of the kiddies to have me home all day. i took my nap around the same time they did. they woke up from their nap earlier than i did. they came back later and saw me emailing sometime before 7p. i hung out with them until 10:30p and crashed again. ugh, what an ordeal!

back log - the 4th, blocked tear duct, & a baby shower!

4th of july

i spent independence day at muffin's new pad with sir gb. they had a grill going out on their balcony which is on a corner and faces the street. so there's no one next to you. it was quite nice actually. getting there was a little bit of an adventure as my friends(betty & gillie) & i got lost getting to her apartment. the food was very yummy and i met some cool new people i could go dancing with. heehee. all in all, it was a nice low key event. we saw some fireworks but it doesn't seem to impress me like it used to. i just wasn't interested. i think the food was distracting me. food or fireworks? food or fireworks? i took food.

thanks muffin! ♥ it was great fun.

eye update

it's been nearly a year since i had my intubation, i went back to the opthalmologist last week for a check up. i thought i was just going to have surgery and get it over with. but there were some problems... he said i had three options. they are:

1- some sort of balloon intubation where they stick a tube inside my tear duct that is blown up to stretch the tear duct. but he said that procedure almost never works. so, scratch that.

2- do another intubation. last year, the tube was too tight and rather than leaving it in my eye for a few months, it was there for a few weeks. initially, i felt drainage so i was excited that it was working. but the tightness created problems. my eye started to get infected and my tear ducts were getting stretched and droopy.

3- the last option is surgery. he'd open up the side of my nose and make an incision to try to stretch out my tear ducts. the problem here is that my condition isn't that bad. and apparently not ideal for surgery. if i went through it, i would end up with a scar on my face, which is likely to become infected since the area we are dealing with isn't sterile (my nose) and that would make the scarring worse. plus, it may not even work! ugh.

we talked it over some more and i decided on doing the intubation again. i don't think i posted in detail the whole procedure. i guess i said it didn't hurt but it really did. in fact, it was a bit traumatizing. although, now that i've been through it, i know what to expect and it may not be so bad the second time around. so, the plan is to leave it in for 4 months instead of 3 weeks. the procedure is scheduled for august 2nd. wish me luck!

my cousin's baby shower

this past sunday, my cousins (proud parents-to-be debbie & roger) had a baby shower. they are expecting a baby girl. it's very very exciting. they got married last september and were together for over 9 years before that! as they are still attached at the hips, they have been very much in love for the entire time. it's refreshing to see that kind of love still exists.

i was asked to make tiramisu and cream puffs and bring drinks. well, i was a little overzealous with the alcohol. i bought a case of champagne and two bottles were barely touched. i spent most of saturday (until well in the am) trying to finish baking the cream puffs (baking them in my mini convection oven was 30 minutes for every 9-10 cream puff, i made 40) and the tiramisu. which was a total disaster! i had total of ten tubs of marscapone cheese. out of the ten, only two was good. the rest came out curdled. i'd never been so frustrated at 4am before. on two hours of sleep, i woke up early to get more marscapone cheese to make at least a batch of it for the shower. out of the four, i purchased that morning, only two worked. so i had 13 single servings of tiramisu for about 30 people. oh well. thank goodnes for my sister who came over to help me finish up with the cream puffs. the custard didn't turn out for that so we put cool whip inside with strawber- ries. oh yeah, i cut my thumb (while cutting the strawberries) and smashed my index finger closing a door on it. all on the same hand. at least it was my left hand.

there were fun games, good food, and great people. kelly was also there for it. she sat with us in our "winning" table. each one of us (even though i was the last one to win something) got picked for prize from a game. i will post more pics when i upload them from my camera. despite everything, i had a wonderful time!

they are a lovely couple and i'm so very excited for them! congrats debbie & roger! i ♥ you both!!

tube free!

on tuesday, i had my appointment with the ophthalmologist. i wasn't sure if he was going to remove my tube just yet or just check it out. so, i asked him, when do i get this thing outta me? and he sat pondering... and finally says, i'm trying to decide whether to do it now or not? he wasn't sure 20 days was enough but he decided to go ahead and do it.

it wasn't nearly as painful as when the tube was inserted but i am so relieved it is out. my eye feels so much better, especially when i rub it. i know, i should stop that. my tear ducts were stretched from the tube that they're a little droopy but it's not obvious.

i see him in 2 weeks and he predicts that i will be very happy and smiley when i see him... let's hope!

intubation of my left eye **warning-- may be a bit graphic**

this morning, i had my eye procedure done. it started with the numbing of my nose. my ophthalmologist had these tools to keep my nose open, then he jabbed at my nose with some other instrument. it wasn't really painful, just uncomfortable. then he said, the problem here is... big tools, small nose. :(

the next was numbing my eye and that was the worst! well, almost the worst. he had this needle that went into my eye, there was some squirting and suddenly, my eye was flooded with fluids (most of which was my own tearing).

so that i don't go into too much detail, basically, the doctor puts a tube through my top and bottom tear ducts and down through where both connect down to my nose. the procedure was pushing through in the tear ducts (and hopefully pushing out whatever was clogging up my tear duct) and have the tube in for several weeks to widen my tear ducts. the really painful part was when he was pushing through the tube and it got stuck, going down from my eye to my nose, and he had to push it back up. ouch!
the procedure was a success and so, i'm supposed to have the tube in for a few weeks... i go back next week for a following up. another weird thing is, i can feel the tube in my eye... eeek. anyhow, wish me luck!

probing procedure on valium... in my eye!!

i went to see the ophthalmologist i was referred to for my eye surgery. he seemed nice. the office was very different. it was like an all in one free for all eye center full with a store of eye glass frames. there were ophthalmogists, an optometrist,opticians and others. there's a sun room in the middle of the office with a tree growing in it. i should have taken a picture.

after speaking to him briefly about my teary left eye, he stuck a syringe in my eye and injected saline without warning. suddenly, i was in a lot of discomfort. the doctor explained to me that he would be doing a probing procedure where he will put me on valium to relax me and insert tubing in through my tear duct to push out the blockage. here's an illustration:
this procedure should clear out the blockage at the top (to come down through my throat, gross!), however, if there is blockage deep in my tear duct, i will need an operation. the deeper the blockage is in the tear duct, the more serious it is. the doctor mentioned that he had a feeling that the blockage in my eye is deeper in my tear duct due to the amount of mucus that discharged when he injected saline into my eye. if this is the case, he will know soon after he does the probing.

i see him in two weeks... until then, he doesn't want me to clean out the build up in my left eye to see how much accumulates. then, i get to do the probing procedure while fully awake and in utter discomfort... eek.

another surgery... eek.

on friday, i had an appointment with the ophthalmologist. i've had this problem with my left eye. some days it's really bad, other days, it's tolerable. after having to dab at my eye with q-tips the entire day at kelly's wedding, i finally decided to get it checked out. especially since i've had this problem since last october or so. and it's gotten progressively worse.

so, i first had to get an appointment with my primary care physician for a referral. then i wait for the referral to be authorized and then i am able to call the ophthalmologist. so, I then make an appointment with the ophthalmologist and she checks me out. and now, i wait for yet another referral authorization for the surgeon.

two years ago, i was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer. the thyroid maintains metabolism and you can't really live without one unless you are on synthetic thyroid hormones for the rest of your life. without the hormones, your brain slowly dies. i had a fine needle aspiration (basically a needle biopsy) done on my thyroid and out of the 8 samples my endocrinologist took, they found cancer in all 8 samples. my endocrinologist sent the samples to the guy who wrote the text book (for medical students) on thyroid disease. so, i knew i didn't need a second opinion. within the same month of my diagnosis, i had surgery, a full thyroidectomy. then following the surgery, i had a body scan to see how much cancer was still in my body. the nuclear medicine doctor said it was "a good amount." so, i had radiation treatment called an ablation. it's not as harsh as chemo. it took a few days of being stuck in a room covered in plastic and labeled "radioactive" but i got through it and the body scan following the treatment came with a smile.

since then, i've had two body scans that have turned up clear. while i have 3 more years until i am declared cured, i feel very good about my health. it's made me realize how short life is. i felt very lucky for all the care i had with doctors and support from family and friends.

this ocular surgery isn't cancer, at least hopefully not, but is still very frightening. if left untreated, that may lead to infections that may lead to who knows what else. so my thoughts are, i need to get this done asap. i can't say i am looking forward to it but i know i will be fine with the network of family and friends i have around me.