burrrr...

i am wondering why it is nearly june and i am still wearing my winter coats. was it this cold this time last year? or it is just me?

week #3 of the big move... and counting

we finally have the go on the move, however, there is no hot water until after next week. which means, we are still in the process of moving. i hope to reside in the new house by next weekend. and i'm happy to announce that i am at least 45% moved, if not 50%. it's hard to say as we are leaving a lot of furniture here. if anyone needs anything out there, let me know!

last week: 3 consecutive days in the city

on wednesday, i drove up to san francisco after work to attend a special screening of the latest documentary by a former student of mine. despite the traffic (an hour and a half from palo alto), it was worth it to see her and her film. sharmeen obaid-shinoy was a student in the program i worked for back in 2002. this was my favorite cohort i worked with. it was the first year of students i worked with from application to graduation. start to finish. sharmeen went on to complete a master's in communication. which was nice because she was around for an extra year. i haven't seen her since 2004. it was really lovely to see her.

her latest film, iraq: the lost generation, is amazing and i admit, a bit difficult to watch. it's raw and touching. what documentaries are made of, i suppose. in a matter of a few months, she visits iraqi refugees in syria and jordan. the tribulations as a result of war is beyond devastating. it's hard to imagine it, right? the violence, crime, and poverty as result of wartime on the lives of women, children and families is utterly horrendous. and to think this was just a glimpse of what's happened. if you get the opportunity to watch this film (or any of her documentaries), you'll know what i'm talking about.

sharmeen was scheduled to go to the airport after the screening so i was able to catch her for a quick hug and chat. she's coming back in the fall so hopefully, we'll get to plan something and spend more time together.

on thursday, my good friend joe was up visiting from LA. so we planned to go to popscene to see maps & atlases and foals. the last time i was at popscene, was early may when the mary onettes played there. the last time i was there or any club with joe was nearly a year ago and more. as we are waiting to get in, jorge says to me, your bf is here, (points to joe) i'm telling.... at the exact moment, who else walks out but chris, my popscene bf. i never expect to see him there. i kinda always hope to see him but am mostly disappointed. i'd given up on him a while ago.

seeing him is just what lisa says it's like when guys see a beautiful girl. dazed and confused, kinda. just looking at him puts me under this spell. he's got this great smile. and his eyes are nice and big. and beautiful. and i'm like putty in his arms. he gives the best hugs on top of the irresistible smile. even joe said he had pretty eyes. haha. we hung out for a little bit. he left early so i walked him out and waited with him for his ride. it got cold so he put his jacket on me. when his ride came, he kissed me sweetly on my neck and said he'd call me. it's always nice seeing him...

foal was fowl, so joe and i left for some munchies. we went to sparky's in castro. i think i got to bed by 3 am. fun fun fun.

i'd taken friday off to hang out with joe. we planned to have lunch at xanh. i'd never had lunch there before. they have this great lunch special for $15. you get soup, an appetizer and an entree. it was sooo filling! mmmm...

luckily, we were heading up to the city to walk around (to walk off our lunch!) and shop. joe and i took bart to the sf shopping center from millbrae. it took longer than i thought it would despite being so close to sf. we were there for 3 or so hours and surprisingly, i came away with nothing. joe got sunglasses. that was it. it was the start of the memorial weekend sales and nadda. i'm still in disbelief that i didn't get anything...

may/june plus clear scan bonus

i've been looking long and far for a navy shoe. i don't know how long it's been. finally, they've found me. at 70% off!

so i got them in plum too. heehee.

the big move...

...is coming. soon, i hope. but there is no word on when we will be occupying the new space as inhabitants. having moved a great deal of crap there yesterday (if you have been to my place, you know that i have a lot of stuff) for nearly the entire day. while waiting on my sister's bf (who built our closet organizers, thanks allen!), i spent a great deal of time staring out my new bedroom window. the view is out towards a hillside on which the new house sits on. there are sheep that populate the hillside across the way. it's beautifully serene. despite all the work we'd done and all the work we've yet to do, i felt a simple sense of peace and relaxation. albeit short-lived.

there's still SO MUCH to pack and move. wish me luck!

double shows, double the listening pleasure

venue: bimbo's
artist: elbow
who: rich, pati & lou
when: 8 may 2008 (thursday)
doors open at 7p

the last time i saw elbow was in 2002 (i think?). they were opening for the doves. my friends wanted to go for the doves, i wanted to see elbow. i ended up liking the doves more and rich ended up liking elbow. funny.

we had sushi in north beach for dinner before the show. when we got there, elbow had started playing. i didn't realize how popular elbow is. i don't think the show was sold out but bimbo's was packed like it was. we got lucky and found a table in the back. i've yet to sit back there. i always like sitting up close on the side or something. guy garvey is the singer of elbow. and he is brilliant. his voice live is quite beautiful. it sends chills down my back just thinking about it. listening to elbow on cd is no comparison to seeing and hearing them live. reminds me of how i felt about the shins when i saw them last year.

even though we missed (i imagine they played it) asleep in the back, the show exceeded my expectations. i hadn't been sure i wanted to go but then rich mentioned he'd go with me so i got tix. and so happy that i did! as always, we reminisced old times. it's hard to believe i've known these guys since 1993-4ish.

rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

it was great and perfect timing because the mary onettes were playing at popscene the same night. elbow ended at around 11ish and we headed over to 330 ritch for some dancing and more live music.

venue: popscene
artist: the mary onettes
who: same group as above
when: 8 may 2008
doors open at 10p

we got there in time for a little bit of dancing before the band came on. many of the bands that i see at popscene (they have live bands every other week if not every week) aren't that good. most of them, as a matter of fact, suck. big time. very few are good. and the mary onettes were one of these rarities. they were surprisingly fantastic. everyone enjoyed them. i was estatic that i caught both shows in the same night. i was afraid i'd have to miss the last part of elbow's show to miss the first part of the mary onettes. but i caught the entirety of both shows. definitely a successful night of music.

rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

origins of "show your scars" aka showurscars

in 2001, i moved back to the bay area from san diego. i was going through a really tough break up. i'd found out that the man i thought i'd spend the rest of my life with wanted to spend his life with another. and so, i left. i took a personal leave from my job. packed up and relocated to the bay area. i didn't have a job. i didn't know what to do with myself. i couldn't sleep or eat. 15 pounds melted off of me in a matter of weeks. i felt dead inside. i cried for days. and couldn't imagine moving on with my life.

i moved in with my brother and his wife. they welcomed me with open arms and took care of me. i spent my time with my pregnant-at-the-time sis-in-law (with jaden). we walked and talked. window-shopped and stuffed ourselves with whatever our hearts desired. i started to feel brand new. refreshed. alive again. but i had all this anger. i actively tried yoga and meditation. in months time, armed with a slimmer body and a new wardrobe (donated from my sis-in-law), i got back to dating.

dating wasn't so easy. i'd been so badly burned that i didn't know how to ever let my guard down. when internet radio first came out (free), i stumbled upon this song by elbow. and it kinda spoke to me (see lyrics below). it was beautiful. guy garvey (singer of elbow) has this unnervingly romantic voice. the songs make you stop and listen to the lyrics, carefully. and to find meaning in the words. in relation to life. the song is called asleep in the back, also the title of the album. this love song is perfect in the way that it reflects how unfortunate real love can be. it starts off gentle and tender. slow and beautiful. even clumsy and one-sided. the song just spills out emotions and pain. in the second verse, i heard these three words. show. your. scars.

were you crushed
did i rush you
all my time is yours
my twisted heart is yours
the faithless shit is yours
the shameless fits of love that only smother you for moments
until i fold them up and leave
all yours
(chorus)
oh you had to ask didn't you
oh you had to know
show your scars
not to rush you
the hieroglyphic hints in all the toilet scrawl
guilty little pins
and all the things i never talk about
are spilling with the gin
test how tough you are
all yours
(chorus)
not to rush you

i suddenly had this revelation. it was okay that i had these emotional scars. that if i let my guard down just a bit, i'd work through these "scars" and even be better. also a reminder that no one is perfect. everyone has scars of all types. and that essentially, i'd be ok in the matters of love.

still going strong... kinda

... celebrating, that is.

to those who came out to my preliminary celebration at xanh, thank you all for coming on such late notice. i'd also like to thank my brother & his family for their generosity. and for those who sent me congratulatory messages via text, phone and email, i am much appreciative to you as well. they (as well as you, the sender) mean a great deal to me.

it's been so busy since the last post last monday. at work as well as home. i'm moving soon (next week? maybe? hopefully?). and, i have two meetings this week that i have to prepare for. another meeting next week. yuk.

let's recount the previous week...

monday, april 28th
clear body scan (see post below)! woohoo! i went to nordstrom for my traditional double capp right after but this time, no cousins there (it had been caroline there for at least 2 of the 5 years) to get a congratulatory hug just yet. i later got one from lily (thanks!). then off to the office to see my coworkers and tell them the news. i'd brought some mac & cheese from the last meal. and of course, after work, met up with people at xanh from 6p until closing. i didn't think i'd be there that long but people kept coming and going. i was getting messages left & right about the clear scan. i truly felt loved.

friday, may 2nd
for the rest of the work week, it was hard to get anything done. i was still in this surreal state of mind. did i really beat cancer? i was completely fearless about spreading my happy news, despite being unofficial. finally, friday came and lisa took me and another friend out to dinner. but before dinner, lisa and i went to verizon to get her a new fancy phone.

she got the enV2 (maroon), the newer version of my phone (orange). it had just come out. it was so new, they didn't have any samples at the store to play around with. and going for $179.99 with a 2 year contract. i showed some skin and she only paid $79.99. score! we got a family plan together, got the phone, transferred over her address book and all this was done in less than an hour!

she'd made reservations at the house at 9p. even at that time, it was totally packed. apparently, they are known for their grilled sea bass with garlic ginger soy. and that's what lisa had the first time she'd gone so she had it again. the house is also known for their warm wasabi house noodles with angus flatiron steak, which is what i ordered. we also had two appetizers, the ahi tuna tartare with roasted nori chipstuna and the deep fried salmon rolls with chinese hot mustard. i'd never had anything like those rolls. they were crunchy, soft, flavorful, spicy, and delicious! very special. i could barely eat half my entree as i enjoyed the appetizers completely and tremendously. the wasabi noodles were also full of flavor and with just the right amount of spice i like. the steak (cooked medium) was sooo good. slightly chewy and yet still melts in my mouth. mmm meat. just thinking about it makes me salivate.
afterwards, we went to the steps of rome café for some espresso drinks and dessert. i'd been craving gelato since i started my low-iodine diet. i ordered a double capp, which unfortunately, was more like a latte. next time, i will just get a single. the gelato was really rich and totally hit the spot. this resulted in me being a very happy full girl.

saturday, may 3rd
we celebrated my dad's 68th birthday on saturday. wow, 68. and there's no other place i love celebrating than at xanh restaurant. they have these sectioned off rooms where you can have private events. since we got there so early, this mini xanh room was essentially ours. we ordered nearly everything on the menu. there was so much food. i couldn't help myself. i totally oinked out. i'd been starving for 10 days before the scan. i indulged like i had the night before. it was great except that my sister-in-law had to work and missed most of it. :(

photo taken with lisa's LG enV2

that night, i went to leisure with louis and betty. i hadn't gone dancing since the end of march. and even though there were a few 40-somethings, i was surprised to see a lot of kinda cute guys there. i was just so content to be dancing to music i love after so long of a period that i didn't pay much attention to the boys. i know, shocker huh? hahah

sunday, may 4th
the nordstrom private shopping event where they wine and dine you so you spend oodles of $$. that was the case for me anyway. not to mention my friend grace. heehee. it's more fun when you're not the only who spends a lot of money.

let's see... i got two pairs of kate spade shoes (will post pics once they are delivered to me), a cream marc by marc jacobs bag (always wanted a cream bag - see right), and tons of cosmetics. and tons of goodies came with my purchases thanks to my special sales person (thanks debbie!). makes me a most joyous shopper. but, no more shopping for a while!! right lisa?