31 July 2007
mini break
in anticipation for my surgery scheduled next week, i am going away for a mini break down to southern california starting wednesday night. i will be back early next week with lots of stories and pics to post! ♥
25 July 2007
my new cut
i told my hairdresser gina, i just want it short. above shoulder-length. this is what she gave me. now, i look just like my yahoo avatar!
15 July 2007
my childhood dream come true...
on 07-07-07, a very lucky date for weddings and anything else, my cousin married my childhood friend. in 1984, we moved across the street to nina's family. she and her brother, morris, were the only kids our age in the neighborhood. we became inseparable. nina, my sis, me and sometimes morris. he was 7 y/o. there's only so much a 7 y/o boy can do with 3 girls older than him.
we spent countless days together playing together. then, we had this grand idea. she was the same age as our cousin. if they got married, she would be our cousin too! an upcoming birthday party was the opportune time to introduce them and in 20 years or so, they could get married and live happily ever after. we teased them, ruthlessly, as kids do. kids are cruel, right? we had no idea the effect it made. as a result, they avoided each other like the plague. until high school, somehow, they got together and started dating. it was on and off through the years and about 4-5 years ago, it was definitely on. and so, on july 7th, they married and she is now my cousin.
here is an "after & before" picture of me and lisa in our cheong- sams from our brother's wedding in 2000. the dresses are custom made to fit you perfectly. before the wedding, we had our dresses taken in 3+ inches. as you can see me in the b&w pic, i'm a total fatty. yuk. i was ~20lbs heavier. it's amazing what 7 years does to you. anyway, we wore these dresses to the morning ceremony. we were the only ones in chinese traditional dresses. everyone else wore ao dais (which are traditional vietnamese dresses). our dresses are so similar (mine is yellow-gold, hers is chartreuse with accents of each others fabrics. we were dubbed chinese twins.
the morning ceremony was a traditional vietnamese wedding with family and close friends only. there's a procession where the groom's family bears gifts to the bride's family. my dad was the groom's family representative, who is the head of the procession. i was holding the tray of liquor (to be given & drank with the bride's parents) next to him. it was wonderful to be a part of it. afterwards, we had the traditional chinese tea ceremony at the groom's parents' house. there, we caught up with nina's brother morris. we'd known him since he was 7 y/o. he's 29 now with a 5 y/o son, justin. who looks just like him. it was so nostalgic. we talked about playing house and watching cartoons. and their pet turtle who ended up in our backyard years after they moved.
about a month earlier, i found out that nina's so-called friend released herself from being the day coordinator. as i wanted to help out, i'd wholeheartedly volunteered to be their reception coordinator since they needed someone they could trust. i was the point of contact for everyone at the wedding. it was my job to make sure events were happening at the right time. it was my job to tell the dj to change the song because my cousin didn't like it. ok, i only had to do this once. haha. it was nice to have such power. and the whole event turned out awesome.
it was a lovely wedding. nina's family are good people. the food was pretty tasty despite being banquet food. they had gourmet cupcakes instead of a cake. and they were delightful.
as lisa and i were leaving, we saw nina's parents in the parking lot. her mom says to us, we're family now! it was such a sweet end to an enjoyable night.
more pics to come...
we spent countless days together playing together. then, we had this grand idea. she was the same age as our cousin. if they got married, she would be our cousin too! an upcoming birthday party was the opportune time to introduce them and in 20 years or so, they could get married and live happily ever after. we teased them, ruthlessly, as kids do. kids are cruel, right? we had no idea the effect it made. as a result, they avoided each other like the plague. until high school, somehow, they got together and started dating. it was on and off through the years and about 4-5 years ago, it was definitely on. and so, on july 7th, they married and she is now my cousin.
here is an "after & before" picture of me and lisa in our cheong- sams from our brother's wedding in 2000. the dresses are custom made to fit you perfectly. before the wedding, we had our dresses taken in 3+ inches. as you can see me in the b&w pic, i'm a total fatty. yuk. i was ~20lbs heavier. it's amazing what 7 years does to you. anyway, we wore these dresses to the morning ceremony. we were the only ones in chinese traditional dresses. everyone else wore ao dais (which are traditional vietnamese dresses). our dresses are so similar (mine is yellow-gold, hers is chartreuse with accents of each others fabrics. we were dubbed chinese twins.the morning ceremony was a traditional vietnamese wedding with family and close friends only. there's a procession where the groom's family bears gifts to the bride's family. my dad was the groom's family representative, who is the head of the procession. i was holding the tray of liquor (to be given & drank with the bride's parents) next to him. it was wonderful to be a part of it. afterwards, we had the traditional chinese tea ceremony at the groom's parents' house. there, we caught up with nina's brother morris. we'd known him since he was 7 y/o. he's 29 now with a 5 y/o son, justin. who looks just like him. it was so nostalgic. we talked about playing house and watching cartoons. and their pet turtle who ended up in our backyard years after they moved.
about a month earlier, i found out that nina's so-called friend released herself from being the day coordinator. as i wanted to help out, i'd wholeheartedly volunteered to be their reception coordinator since they needed someone they could trust. i was the point of contact for everyone at the wedding. it was my job to make sure events were happening at the right time. it was my job to tell the dj to change the song because my cousin didn't like it. ok, i only had to do this once. haha. it was nice to have such power. and the whole event turned out awesome.
it was a lovely wedding. nina's family are good people. the food was pretty tasty despite being banquet food. they had gourmet cupcakes instead of a cake. and they were delightful.
as lisa and i were leaving, we saw nina's parents in the parking lot. her mom says to us, we're family now! it was such a sweet end to an enjoyable night.
more pics to come...
13 July 2007
5 years ago...
i had a best friend i now refer to as "smella." she was my best friend for over 10 years. we had known one another since middle school. we went to high school and college together. but five years ago, it all came out. her true feelings of me. she hadn't let go of things that had happened in the past and i realized, she would never let them go despite repeated apologies (for no reason really, she too was at fault) and explanations. i admit, i too hold grudges but once i'm over that hump, i forget about it. the grudges i maintain are incidences i can never forgive and therefore, i always say, i prefer moving forward and not backward. they are things that don't get over that "hump."
it's been five years, almost to the day. i still have the chat archive where i last spoke to her, as a friend. the most i've said to her since is a "hi" in passing. but that's been once or twice. you know how your best friend is your worst enemy? well, she was my worst enemy and i didn't even know it. this came out when i confronted her with an email i received from an ex-boyfriend. he wrote to just "let me know" that he and his new gf was meeting up with her and her bf. i immediately forwarded the message to her and asked if he was lying because it couldn't be true that she would do such a horrid thing. he sent this to me a month after telling me he would not speak to me for at least a year. lame, right?
i went to high school with my ex-bf. that's how she knew him too. they weren't really friends though. they became friends when he and i started dating again in 2001. she turned out to be a bit of a counselor to him. bad for me. apparently, this gave her an opportunity to stab me in the back to my at-the-time-bf. which according to him, he was always defending me. at the time, i just figured he was lying. that she might actually talk shit about me to him, of all people. looking back and knowing how much he cared about me, he couldn't have been lying. it was true. she secretly hated me while i loved her like a sister.
during the years, i'd hear things about her and him, together and separately. that he went to her wedding. and that he got married to that gf. i'm happy for him. that he found someone, someone who wasn't me. i also heard that she missed me. despite that, she didn't want to be friends with me again. this makes no sense to me. i do not miss anyone i don't want contact with, and that includes her. i look back and think how stupid i was, to love someone so unconditionally and all along, she hated me. the friendship was not mutual. she said she was more of a friend to me than i was to her. that i held all these high expectations of her and she couldn't take the pressure. it was too much for her. she couldn't hack being my friend. how does one react to this? how could it possibly be resolved? how does one want to continue this kind of friendship? there was one reaction. i was stupid for thinking she was like my sister. i was stupid for loving her unconditionally. i was stupid for thinking the world of her. and last, i was stupid for hoping it was mutual between us. the only thing i could do was abruptly end the conversation and mourn the loss of a terrible friendship. how could i have been so stupid?
i have not spoken to her since. and would prefer it stays that way. i don't miss her. i'm glad that she is no longer my friend. as a matter of fact, having her out of my life has made my life much better. it's made me realize what friends are supposed to be like.
actually, my best friend kelly, has helped me with this as well. our friendship is not only uncondi- tional but there are no problems with high expectations, it's just a given. there's mutual respect and love between us. it's an ideal friendship. the best part is, we've been friends since 1986 and it just gets stronger.
it's been five years, almost to the day. i still have the chat archive where i last spoke to her, as a friend. the most i've said to her since is a "hi" in passing. but that's been once or twice. you know how your best friend is your worst enemy? well, she was my worst enemy and i didn't even know it. this came out when i confronted her with an email i received from an ex-boyfriend. he wrote to just "let me know" that he and his new gf was meeting up with her and her bf. i immediately forwarded the message to her and asked if he was lying because it couldn't be true that she would do such a horrid thing. he sent this to me a month after telling me he would not speak to me for at least a year. lame, right?
i went to high school with my ex-bf. that's how she knew him too. they weren't really friends though. they became friends when he and i started dating again in 2001. she turned out to be a bit of a counselor to him. bad for me. apparently, this gave her an opportunity to stab me in the back to my at-the-time-bf. which according to him, he was always defending me. at the time, i just figured he was lying. that she might actually talk shit about me to him, of all people. looking back and knowing how much he cared about me, he couldn't have been lying. it was true. she secretly hated me while i loved her like a sister.
during the years, i'd hear things about her and him, together and separately. that he went to her wedding. and that he got married to that gf. i'm happy for him. that he found someone, someone who wasn't me. i also heard that she missed me. despite that, she didn't want to be friends with me again. this makes no sense to me. i do not miss anyone i don't want contact with, and that includes her. i look back and think how stupid i was, to love someone so unconditionally and all along, she hated me. the friendship was not mutual. she said she was more of a friend to me than i was to her. that i held all these high expectations of her and she couldn't take the pressure. it was too much for her. she couldn't hack being my friend. how does one react to this? how could it possibly be resolved? how does one want to continue this kind of friendship? there was one reaction. i was stupid for thinking she was like my sister. i was stupid for loving her unconditionally. i was stupid for thinking the world of her. and last, i was stupid for hoping it was mutual between us. the only thing i could do was abruptly end the conversation and mourn the loss of a terrible friendship. how could i have been so stupid?
i have not spoken to her since. and would prefer it stays that way. i don't miss her. i'm glad that she is no longer my friend. as a matter of fact, having her out of my life has made my life much better. it's made me realize what friends are supposed to be like.
actually, my best friend kelly, has helped me with this as well. our friendship is not only uncondi- tional but there are no problems with high expectations, it's just a given. there's mutual respect and love between us. it's an ideal friendship. the best part is, we've been friends since 1986 and it just gets stronger.
04 July 2007
03 July 2007
kindred spirit & scar buddy
most of you who read my blog, know that i was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer back in 2003. this year, i had my fourth body scan which means (as i've said previously back in april) i have one left to go until i can officially be declared "cured."
last november, i received an email from a good friend of mine. it turns out that her childhood friend was diagnosed with a type of thyroid cancer. she asked me to contact her friend to help her with concerns she was having about her diagnosis. so i did. i wrote her about my entire experience. from the symptoms to how i've lived with it. i shared my experiences with my doctors, the surgery, the recovery, the radiation treatment, and my body scan check ups. we'd been emailing one another as well as spoken on the phone (right before her surgery) ever since. actually, we are both on gchat and instant message every now and then. she's a grad student at berkeley and is local, sort of. we'd been playing with the idea of meeting up, finally. to match a face with the voice. last thursday, we met up for dinner at xanh in mt. view. my treat.
it was really nice to finally meet her. when my friend made this request, i didn't think twice about contacting her. i'd been in her shoes. while thyroid cancer is the best cancer to get if you were given a choice of any one cancer to be stricken with, as it is curable, it's still a very scary ordeal. it's life changing. certainly, it's changed my life. it would have been nice to have someone who had gone through it to ask questions and concerns. i was glad to be that person for someone else.
we met up at 6:30 and talked and ate well through 2 hours. it turned out that we had more than scars in common. luckily for her, she did not have cancer. hers was benign. she had a partial thyroidectomy. we were both young, strong, intelligent women with similar views on life, love, and spirituality. it's really amazing how well we got along and how we seem to be on the same wavelength. the dinner would have lasted longer except, i was late picking up my niece and nephew! so we said we would do it again.
and she brought me a little thank you gift. this book, which was really thoughtful and sweet of her. i felt bad that i came empty handed. luckily, i was able to treat her to dinner!
last november, i received an email from a good friend of mine. it turns out that her childhood friend was diagnosed with a type of thyroid cancer. she asked me to contact her friend to help her with concerns she was having about her diagnosis. so i did. i wrote her about my entire experience. from the symptoms to how i've lived with it. i shared my experiences with my doctors, the surgery, the recovery, the radiation treatment, and my body scan check ups. we'd been emailing one another as well as spoken on the phone (right before her surgery) ever since. actually, we are both on gchat and instant message every now and then. she's a grad student at berkeley and is local, sort of. we'd been playing with the idea of meeting up, finally. to match a face with the voice. last thursday, we met up for dinner at xanh in mt. view. my treat.
it was really nice to finally meet her. when my friend made this request, i didn't think twice about contacting her. i'd been in her shoes. while thyroid cancer is the best cancer to get if you were given a choice of any one cancer to be stricken with, as it is curable, it's still a very scary ordeal. it's life changing. certainly, it's changed my life. it would have been nice to have someone who had gone through it to ask questions and concerns. i was glad to be that person for someone else.
we met up at 6:30 and talked and ate well through 2 hours. it turned out that we had more than scars in common. luckily for her, she did not have cancer. hers was benign. she had a partial thyroidectomy. we were both young, strong, intelligent women with similar views on life, love, and spirituality. it's really amazing how well we got along and how we seem to be on the same wavelength. the dinner would have lasted longer except, i was late picking up my niece and nephew! so we said we would do it again.
and she brought me a little thank you gift. this book, which was really thoughtful and sweet of her. i felt bad that i came empty handed. luckily, i was able to treat her to dinner!
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