probing procedure on valium... in my eye!!

i went to see the ophthalmologist i was referred to for my eye surgery. he seemed nice. the office was very different. it was like an all in one free for all eye center full with a store of eye glass frames. there were ophthalmogists, an optometrist,opticians and others. there's a sun room in the middle of the office with a tree growing in it. i should have taken a picture.

after speaking to him briefly about my teary left eye, he stuck a syringe in my eye and injected saline without warning. suddenly, i was in a lot of discomfort. the doctor explained to me that he would be doing a probing procedure where he will put me on valium to relax me and insert tubing in through my tear duct to push out the blockage. here's an illustration:
this procedure should clear out the blockage at the top (to come down through my throat, gross!), however, if there is blockage deep in my tear duct, i will need an operation. the deeper the blockage is in the tear duct, the more serious it is. the doctor mentioned that he had a feeling that the blockage in my eye is deeper in my tear duct due to the amount of mucus that discharged when he injected saline into my eye. if this is the case, he will know soon after he does the probing.

i see him in two weeks... until then, he doesn't want me to clean out the build up in my left eye to see how much accumulates. then, i get to do the probing procedure while fully awake and in utter discomfort... eek.

the magic of photoshop

see chris's brother in the background?

now you don't!

that my friend, is the magic of photoshop... and me, on how to work the magic. ;)

big news...

last night, joe, the singer of ted's band called him to say that he was planning on quitting the band. and ted was planning on telling the rest of the band at a meeting tonight but their drummer disappeared to the east coast. so, the band is officially broken up, i think. and well, ted has nothing holding him in la now. so he is planning on moving up to sf! with me!

i told my manager that it looks like i am staying and she said, let's work on getting you that promotion! i'm excited about staying around my family,
about my boyfriend moving up here to be with me and start a new band,
about getting a promotion,
about keeping my doctors...

but i'm in shock that it's actually going to happen. i've been mentally preparing myself to live in la and was ready to go on my interview at ucla in august. but now, it's all changed. is it really happening though?

hmmm... !!

another surgery... eek.

on friday, i had an appointment with the ophthalmologist. i've had this problem with my left eye. some days it's really bad, other days, it's tolerable. after having to dab at my eye with q-tips the entire day at kelly's wedding, i finally decided to get it checked out. especially since i've had this problem since last october or so. and it's gotten progressively worse.

so, i first had to get an appointment with my primary care physician for a referral. then i wait for the referral to be authorized and then i am able to call the ophthalmologist. so, I then make an appointment with the ophthalmologist and she checks me out. and now, i wait for yet another referral authorization for the surgeon.

two years ago, i was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer. the thyroid maintains metabolism and you can't really live without one unless you are on synthetic thyroid hormones for the rest of your life. without the hormones, your brain slowly dies. i had a fine needle aspiration (basically a needle biopsy) done on my thyroid and out of the 8 samples my endocrinologist took, they found cancer in all 8 samples. my endocrinologist sent the samples to the guy who wrote the text book (for medical students) on thyroid disease. so, i knew i didn't need a second opinion. within the same month of my diagnosis, i had surgery, a full thyroidectomy. then following the surgery, i had a body scan to see how much cancer was still in my body. the nuclear medicine doctor said it was "a good amount." so, i had radiation treatment called an ablation. it's not as harsh as chemo. it took a few days of being stuck in a room covered in plastic and labeled "radioactive" but i got through it and the body scan following the treatment came with a smile.

since then, i've had two body scans that have turned up clear. while i have 3 more years until i am declared cured, i feel very good about my health. it's made me realize how short life is. i felt very lucky for all the care i had with doctors and support from family and friends.

this ocular surgery isn't cancer, at least hopefully not, but is still very frightening. if left untreated, that may lead to infections that may lead to who knows what else. so my thoughts are, i need to get this done asap. i can't say i am looking forward to it but i know i will be fine with the network of family and friends i have around me.

4th of july & los angeles...

i spent the last 5 days in los angeles with ted. i flew down in the afternoon on thursday. ted and i went straight to kelly's to pick her up for lunch. we had our usual at the california chicken café. very healthy.

the next day, we slept until 2pm. apparently, we were tired. we ran some errands and did as much as we could for what was left of our friday. this included seeing batman begins at 11:30p. it's so nice to be able to go to a movie with your significant other...

on saturday, we were really good. we woke up to go to a spinning class (cycling, they call it at 24) at 10am. and it kicked both our asses. i'm still hurting today. and frankly, i'm feeling a bit whimpy about that...

sunday was nigel's (the band's drummer) bbq in silver lake. it was fun chatting with all the transplants in la, including ted. it's pretty amazing how so many people from every corner of the world end up in la.

yesterday, monday was my very last day. we went to rob's bbq who is ted's mom's best friend's husband's brother. he is helping me find a job and is very very nice. his house is just as fabulous as he and his partner are! ted and i had a lovely time.

being in la with ted for an extended period of time made me really want to move there asap. i love him so much and feel more and more comfortable making la my new home. now if only i can find a job that pays enough...